There was a newly married couple and just as they were getting into bed, the husband said: “I didn’t want to mention this before in case you were shocked and it stopped us getting married, but there is a position I’ve always wanted to try. It’s called the wheel barrow position.”
“Oh” said the wife “what does it involve?”“Well, you get down on your hands and knees, and then you straighten your legs. I get between your legs, pick them up and way hay... off we go!”
“OK said the wife, just promise me outside, we won’t go past my Mum’s House!”
Coincidentally, I’ve just been on a once in a lifetime holiday... No way I’ll do that again...!
A few days ago I went to Ceroc Newbury: it’s a Jive dance venue under the Ceroc franchise. Last night we had a special evening based on West Coast Swing. The class was taught by Brent & Kellese Key
We were introduced to a new description of your “centre” or core. This is the part of the body which represents your point of balance. Some describe it where you feel the pressure when you hold your breath and try to breath out (try it). This does not work if you have a cold as it then appears to be between your ears! It is somewhere between your knees and your chest. Some consider it as one of the 5,382 erogenous zones that a woman has. Unfortunately this may not narrow it down. Kellese refers to it as her “cookie”. For Brent it’s the berries and branch. Much of the class revolved around correct positioning of the “cookie”. It was very instructive.
It’s the Reading festival – noticeable for its rain making powers, greater even than Glastonbury. Actually it’s about half an hour into the start and at the big Tesco’s in town they have already sold out of the years’ supply of wellington boots, socks and presumably anything waterpoof.
When I got back in the car after the shopping expedition: the iPod came out in sympathy and decided to play Louis Armstrong’s wonderful World – “I see skies of blue... and clouds of white... ... and I think to myself; what a wonderful world.” I looked up: somehow “I see skies of grey and clouds of black” just doesn’t seem to have the same impact...
Actually I spent the weekend dancing. Now at the event I went to: there are classes every hour and a half spread over the day. The classes themselves last about an hour and typically will cover 3 dance moves.
The format is a demo of all three moves, then step slowly through the first until there is a reasonable chance of doing it with some degree of similarity to the demo. The second part of the move is then demoed again and practised. The first and second are linked together and practised. The third part is then demoed and practised. At which point the “teach” then says: from the top: all three parts together.
At his point I feel l have the same memory as the apocryphal gold fish. What was that first move??? Time to do both a passable impression of a goldfish – both in memory and the jaw dropping, mouth opening “ah”. F$%^£$&... I just did that fifteen minutes earlier! The problem is that goldfish don’t have such a bad memory. Experiments teaching the fish a link between various signals and food have shown that a dozen or so repetitions can teach a Goldfish when or where food is provided which they remember for weeks. I have since resolve to try to raise my game. Can I at least equal the performance of a Goldfish when it comes to dance moves?
Stay tuned...
